Good Morning Everyone! So sorry I have been a little MIA for the past few weeks. It has been a whirlwind of events between work, vacation and just life in general. I feel like I have so much to catch up on.

We spent a beautiful week at Dauphin Island, Alabama last week. This was my first time visiting this location and let me tell you it is amazing. If you are looking for a quiet, family-centered place to actually go to relax, then this is for you. If you prefer the hustle and bustle of other destinations such as Gulf Shores or Destin, then it probably is not for you. I like the fact that it is small with very little commercial aspects. There are local restaurants and a few gift shops, but other than that it is simply beaches, parks and history. The people are all so nice here. My only complaint is that I couldn't stay longer. You tend to lose a sense of the real world and all the problems you have when you are standing on a beach, toes in the sand, looking at the massive ocean out in front of you. Here I felt peaceful.

The past few weeks have been somewhat of a struggle for me. I have felt overly stressed and haven't even wanted to get up and work out or eat right. The first week the weight fell off (I am sure this was water weight, but seeing the numbers come off felt great). Then I hit a wall. I was busy, I was trying to tie up loose ends at work, I was trying to get everything in order for vacation and I just felt like eating crap. I fell backwards. I did not make time for me. I did not take the time to plan my meals or take that 30 minutes and move. And I felt it.

This week is all about a reset. Today is a new day and it is time to focus on what is important.

The next part of this is extremely open, raw, honest and I am probably saying more than anyone deserves to hear, but it is important for me to get this out there and not hide behind it....

My family has suffered great pain. For months, we have struggled to be whole. There are plenty of reasons why, I don't need to get into specifics. I do not feel the need to bad mouth anyone or slam anyone's character. The bottom line is sometimes people just aren't who you thought they were or could be, no matter how hard you want that. People are only responsible for their own actions. I have tried and failed for a long time to put my faith in a person I thought was capable of change. I did this because I honestly loved him with my whole heart and I did this because I wanted my kids to have a father in their life. But after so much heartache and pain and your eyes being opened to the truth, love is replaced by anger, bitterness, resentment and regret. I just wish it didn't take me so long to figure this out. I wish I could have been stronger and did what I needed to do instead of feeling sorry for someone who clearly didn't care about me.

Life has a funny way of working out the way it is supposed to. I have made plenty of mistakes throughout my 33 years of life. But what I will never regret or apologize for is my kids. Through the darkness, these 2 beautiful girls were created. God doesn't make mistakes and I know that he gave them to me for a reason. Somedays I don't feel like I deserve them or the grace God has given me. But then I realize I am not broken, I am just flawed, and my imperfections and life lessons can help to heal me and make me a better person.

I have made some hard choices lately, ones that should have been made a long time ago. But the good thing about life is that every single morning, you get a chance to reset and start over. And this is a new beginning for me and my girls. We will be ok. I will be ok. I am stronger than I give myself credit for. I have put up with more than anyone would ever want to know. Sometimes it is easy to get down and out on yourself and beat yourself up. But the best thing to do is rise above that. The devil is alive and he will beat you down and make you think you are not worth it. But he will be defeated because my faith rests in God and I know he will see me out of the valleys and over the mountains and that he has a better plan for me and my family. Nothing worth having comes easy, I truly believe that.

I did not sit down and write this to give anyone any juicy gossip to discuss behind my back. I do not owe anyone any explanations except for my daughters for why I make the decisions I make. I wrote this because I am tired of holding everything inside and writing makes me feel like a warrior. It makes me feel healed. It makes me feel like I can breathe again. I have lost friends over the past few years, because I can only assume they didn't agree with my decisions. I guess they weren't true friends to begin with. The problem with this world stems from people like that. The people who are judgmental and like to sit back and point a finger and tell you how you should feel and live your life. I have encountered many of those people. I may have problems, but I honestly feel more sorry for the people who take the time to belittle others and try to make them feel not good enough.

I would like to end this on a positive note....I want to say thank you to my biggest supporters-my parents. They have always 100% had my back. Even when they didn't agree with me, even when I was hard to love, even when I took out my frustrations on them. They never stopped giving me what I needed the most-support. I will forever be grateful and could never pay them back everything they deserve.

I would like to also say to anyone who may be suffering through your own heartache and pain, don't hold it all in. I promise you it will only make it worse when it finally does all come spewing out. A person can only hold so much in before they just break. Writing is cathartic. Even if you don't share your writings with other people, just getting those feelings out there and on paper and out of your mind and heart, it feels good.

So today is a new day...today is a fresh start. This post is to remind everyone that you never know what is really going on with someone. This post was not about pity or wanting anyone to tell me they are sorry things didn't work out. My pain could never compare to what others are going through. MY problems are not problems on the grand scheme of things. My heart aches more for the ones who lost loved ones in Vegas. My heart aches for the ones who lost everything in Houston and Puerto Rico and many other places the last few months. My heart aches for the parents who lose their kids daily to cancer and other horrible diseases. My life is good. No life is without trouble. I am blessed, as cliche as that sounds, I am. I have a loving family, 2 healthy children who light up my days, a great job, and a few good friends who will be there no matter what.

The picture I am sharing today sums up life for me...my girls are my world! And everything I do is for them and I want to spend every minute making sure I make their lives as joyful and happy as possible. Happy Sunday everyone. I hope you all have a blessed week.